Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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