just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
