Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
