ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I want to be your penis for a week.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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