I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
