I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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