the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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