I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
