i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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