His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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