I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
