Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize