kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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