i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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