The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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