There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
