Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
