I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
