Soap is not a condiment
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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