okay pat passed out under dana's car
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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