Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
