It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
