So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
