Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
