I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
