Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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