So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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