whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
