I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
