you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
