Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize