I bet he comes in French.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
