just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
