You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
