Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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