I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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