Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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