I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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