dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
