Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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