Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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