mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
