all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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