covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
