Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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