i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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