i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
