went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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