its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
