And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The struggles of a small town man whore
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
