I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
