Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
