return my video game
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
