There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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