No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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