Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
