Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
