Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
