Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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