wakey wakey hands off snakey
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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